Just cropdusted the office
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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