Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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