You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
