ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
