You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i now understand why vodka
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
