Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
