my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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