trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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