i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
