im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
