Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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