The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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