He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
