I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
