I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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