i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
