they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
