Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
