why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
