i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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