I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
