He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
