im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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