your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
