just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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