If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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