I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
