I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
