After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
