So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
