Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Damn victory sex feels great
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
