i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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