I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
