$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
