idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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