some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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