I'm really into asian looking animals
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
