I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
