we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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