Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How naked do you want me to be?
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