so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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