I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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