It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
