it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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