Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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