I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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