Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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