Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
