i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
