sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
