You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
