I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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