i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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