I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
