you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
