just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
